Shattered Hearts & Crazy Glue
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There were other women

Affairs, Prostitutes, Flesh & Blood Sex

2/7/2017

2 Comments

 
Yes. My husband began his journey into this horrible world of using women for his narcissistic pleasures while in college.  They were a collection of body parts -- not people. He did this to avoid the intimacy of relationships so that he could focus on himself and his music.

It continued through his 1st marriage as his ex was into experimentation. Needless to say the marriage did not survive many years.

When my husband drove by a place in Minneapolis called Sexworld each day on his way to work, eventually 14-15 years into our marriage -- he decided to pay it a visit, recalling the old days in college and on the road with his band. It is ridiculously painful because I know the details -- the unprotected oral sex, the big breasted women, and those youthful skinny bodies.

​The anticipation of the sexual encounters were always the best part, he later revealed. Sex with a prostitute was cold and emotionless -- not at all the raging passion we allow to fill our imaginations. Do not let your emotions be drawn into that. 
One thing my husband told me was that my imagination painted the event as 100% more exciting that what the sex ‘event’ ever was. The sex was — in his words — cold and methodical and left him feeling dirty afterwords, covered in guilt. 

But as I walked through the first years after discovery, I could barely stand to look at myself. As year four and now five past d-day has come and gone, my husband has slowly become more vulnerable and transparent, he has opened up about the waste of the life he lived.  It is sad. And it is just as sad for the women who thought that they could build their self esteem by mounting males. 

What is your story?
2 Comments
karla
3/9/2017 07:06:56 am

I unfortunately know too much as well. When I finally found out about his cheating while we were engaged he just screamed it all out at me. Told me about how she had a larger chest and bigger butt than normal. Then the jerk told me how when she touched him he "immediately" became aroused!! Why would he tell me that? Why? Jerk. I also know which position. Partly because that way he didn't have to take responsibility because she climbed on top of him you see. He was the innocent party I guess. He also claimed that his hands stayed at his side the entire time. Yep!! He said it.

So when and if we are together I see her. I feel less than adequate if I do decide to touch him and he doesn't respond right away. In fact it usually will end right there if that happens. Because if she can get you started with one touch than why can't I. I must not be good enough.

I also know what he searched for mostly on porn. Those are now off the table. Completely off the table. He has mentioned that he misses it. Sorry dude. You are the one who had to have more. Who didn't feel as if I was enough. You had it all, and then wanted more. So now, you get none of it. I am not going to put myself in that position anymore.

They just don't realize how traumatizing this all is. They have no true clue. I go back and forth with wanting him and wanting to vomit. Right now I am in the vomiting stage.

Reply
Dorothy Tierney Dunlap
8/20/2018 06:35:00 pm

Vomiting with you and Praying for you and myself

Reply



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  • Welcome Home
  • My Blog Page
  • Start a Discussion
    • Anger and Rage
    • Does it ever get better?
    • Deep Sadness
    • Hope and Encouragement
  • Resources
    • Good & Bad Books
  • Your Stories
    • Addicted to Porn
    • Other Women
  • Prayer Requests
  • My Story